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WHORES with a cock and balls

Back in around 2012 myself and some friends decided to move into a wormhole. Despite having no experience running POSes, wormholes, proper pvp we went balls deep and moved all of our stuff into a suitable C2.

It was, if memory serves, a C2 with a LS/C4 static. Hole found, scanning ships moved in we just needed to wait for the right moment to move in. A few days passed and eventually a LS entry popped up in the arse end of nowhere but, critically, only two jumps from highsec.

One of our lot actually had a freighter so we used him plus the rest of us in webbing ships to move the freighter loaded up with almost all of our invested isk and goods many jumps to the highsec step-off point. A lot of checking the surrounding systems and, when it was clear we slung the Fenrir through the two lowsec systems and into the station where we would start shuttling stuff in with T1 haulers.

The name of our corp was WH ORE Exploration. I think we retroactively decided it must stand for WormHole Outer Ring Exploration Exploration but really we just wanted to call ourselves WHOREs. Never say Eve players aren’t a mature playerbase.

So set up and moved in we set about doing what people do in wormhole space, sitting in the pos, jumping in and out of ships talking shit on comms. After we’d grown tired of this we decided we should try run some of the sites in the static C4.

This is when we ran into our first of many issues, none of us could fly T3s and only one person had the skills to sit in a guardian. If I recall correctly this is before the current T1 cruiser logi was actually any use so it was Guardian or bust.
Since we couldn’t use T3’s we decided the next best thing was to bring Battleships as they could put out decent DPS while having the large pool of hitpoints to survive long enough to complete the site.
The next problem was everyone had various skills in different races and no one had T2 large weapons of any kind.

What resulted came to be known as the ‘cock and ball fleet’.

You had two Abaddons (one yours truly), a Tempest, a Raven, two RR Dominixes and a single lone Guardian. We’d warp in and, as one of the Abaddons was the slowest, we’d all approach him and he’d trundle the motley crew around the site at approximately 80m/s. Due to the size of the models the ships would inevitably get close enough together that the models themselves would merge. What resulted an extra long Abaddon with the nose of the first one leading the charge and the tail end of the second one giving the appearance of a ‘stretch limo Abaddon’. Out of this sprang the fins of the Tempest from the top and bottom and the wings of the Raven sticking out either side.

This was known as the ‘cock’.

Following 1-2km behind the cock was, of course, the balls. The two RR domis swinging gracefully around behind us as the cock meandered slowly around. If you looked closely you’d also have seen the little Guardian poking its shiny face out from between the balls. 

The cock and ball fleet was painstakingly slow and inefficient at doing basically anything but it worked and it was actually fun too. Amazingly it never died. I’d like to think that anyone that saw it was simply too overcome and/or afraid of the mighty shaft spunking out missiles, lasers and projectiles at anything that crossed its path.

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